If you’re living with a terminal illness, get some help!
Along with family and friends, the healthcare community includes those who will help continue treatment and provide support throughout the healing process.
Hospice staff can also soothe and reassure patients and their families, assist them in understanding their diagnoses, and help them make arrangements for what happens next.
Here are some of the most effective ways to deal with terminal illness:
Acknowledge That You’re Dying
While it can be daunting, many find that when they embrace their truth, an incredible amount of healing follows. Acknowledging this fact takes time!
It’s a very personal process - but accepting death can help you make the most of your remaining years, and it can also inspire you to order your final affairs in a way that’ll best support your loved ones.
Decide Who to Tell
Communication is key. Tell people about your diagnosis with whom you can speak honestly about your thoughts and feelings. Please read what you need them to know and talk about what quality of life looks like for you.
Allow yourself to express how you feel. If you want to say something, say it. If you can’t talk, write things down in a grief journal or in letters addressed to individual people.
Gather As Much Information as Possible About Your Diagnosis
Meet with your doctor and any other relevant healthcare providers to get a sense of what to expect as you progress with your illness, how it will be treated, and its potential effects on your functionality. Understanding this can prepare you and your family for what lies ahead.
Establish Your Advanced Care Directive
If you have specific wishes related to healthcare interventions, such as ventilators or feeding tubes, ensure that the person you choose as your healthcare proxy understands them and has committed to honoring them. Talk to a lawyer about ensuring you have the proper legal documents, like a living will, durable power of attorney for health care, or health care proxy.
If possible, Plan the Type of Funeral/Memorial Service.
A terminal illness robs people of control of every aspect of life. Even thinking about and planning your funeral or memorial service is one way of asserting some control over the situation. If a family member is not willing to have this conversation, identify a friend or member of your place of worship to whom you can broach the subject.
Engagement with Palliative Care Experts
Palliative care specialists have considered how meaningful hope can be for patients, family members, and physicians when faced with terminal illness. They found that, first and foremost, hope ends with a cure, then with extended survival, and then with enhanced quality of life.
Morbid hope is sometimes likened to a disease, and when the illness progresses, this hope also qualitatively changes into acceptance of sorts. Palliative care specialists know how to help individuals and families through these feelings and phases.
Find End of Life Counseling
Therapy can be immensely beneficial to the person being diagnosed with and to loved ones and family members. Use an online therapist directory to find a mental health professional who's a good match. You can search for a professional by location, price, experience, and other characteristics.
Join a Support Group
A support group provides emotional connection, information, and belonging in the face of your terminal illness. Being surrounded by people who share the same beliefs as you remind you that you are not alone, and these types of support systems can help mitigate feelings of loneliness. There are many in-person and online support groups. Remember that you can show up just as you are and respond at a pace that feels safe for you.
Forgive Yourself in Advance for Your Limits & Difficult Emotions
Forgiving yourself is freeing. Give yourself grace during this time—you have permission. You are entitled to have your own limits, shortcomings, and bad moods. It’s part of being human, albeit messy or painful. Getting support can be critical in getting the most out of the time you have left.
Reflect on Life & What You Want from the Time You Have
Consider: What may make your life better? Who do you want to spend time with, and how do you want to do it? These are fundamental questions to start with. Spend the remaining time you have based on your answers.
Stick to Your Lifestyle As Much As Possible
While things are shifting, it can be comforting to aim to maintain your routine as much as possible. This could offer a sense of normalcy, which can contribute to your emotional well-being. It also infuses meaning and identity. Your lifestyle is part of who you are and is worth latching onto if it resonates with you.
Establish a Support Team for Patients & Family
Determine what needs to be done and who can assist. If you’re a friend or family member, you may assist with chores and errands, like grocery shopping, laundry, taking kids to and from school, and reminding the patient to practice self-care.
A Caring Bridge can help to communicate the patient’s condition and their or their family’s needs. Instruct a trusted person to keep these updates so you don’t have to field unnecessary calls or visitors.
Acknowledge Grief & Fear
Patients with life-threatening illnesses experience a succession of losses as the sickness advances. Grief over these losses is entirely normal and should be embraced and released. Most patients are also better off when they can share their fears.
Try Expressive Therapies
These art forms, including music, art, writing, and photography, can help you use your feelings to discover more about yourself.
Participating in art or making art can be a vital form of self-care when dealing with a terminal illness. Some also find they like to put paint on canvas to create something, to make sense of their final days.
Take Advantage of Free Care
Terminal illness can also often occur together with chronic or acute pain. Even simple tasks might not seem doable, and your body may appear to be conspiring with you. Holistic treatments such as acupuncture, massages, meditation, or yoga may be beneficial in helping you find a deeper connection with your body. Discuss your options with your doctor.
Say Goodbye on Your Terms & Schedule
How you bid goodbye isn’t the issue; just be sure you do. It doesn’t even have to be in words. Express your feelings the way it seems right for you and only when you feel ready.
As far as coping mechanisms go, distract yourself as needed
Denial is a coping mechanism and not at all unreasonable considering the seriousness and finality of a terminal diagnosis. It isn't bad if your denial isn’t hurting you or your family and friends.
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